Not surprisingly, the long term overall “success rate” of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is strikingly low. In a combined 49 seasons of the U.S. flagship shows up to 2024, only about 11 couples were still together. About one-third of seasons don’t have a proposal at all, either because the lead decides not to choose anyone (as Brad Womack infamously did) or opts to leave as just a dating couple rather than engaged. But even among those couples that do leave the finale together – usually engaged – only a small fraction stay together for the long haul. As of 2024, six out of 28 Bachelor pairs and four out of 20 Bachelorette pairs remained together (including a few that formed after a post-show change of heart). The rest have broken up, often just months after the finale.
Interestingly, The Bachelorette has outperformed The Bachelor quite a bit: one analysis found about a 30% marriage rate for Bachelorette couples vs. just 11% for Bachelor couples. Further, a comprehensive study of 169 international seasons found that final couples from The Bachelorette were significantly more likely to stay together beyond the finale than those from The Bachelor. In the U.S., every Bachelorette has received a proposal (only one ever declined it), whereas several Bachelors did not propose or chose no one. Moreover, male leads have a history of second-guessing their final choice: 11 out of 77 Bachelors in the study reversed their decision shortly after filming (often pursuing the runner-up), something no female lead has done. When looking at long-term outcomes, this difference is striking – about 82% of Bachelorettes were still with their final pick a month after the show, compared to only 56% of Bachelors. More on this later.
A bright spot
While the flagship shows have a low hit rate, the broader Bachelor Nation has spawned additional love connections outside the main show’s final rose ceremonies. Many contestants later find partners through the franchise’s spin-offs or social circles. Bachelor in Paradise (BIP) – where alumni date on a tropical beach – has produced a number of successful couples. In fact, Bachelor in Paradise has a much higher success rate than the main shows: roughly 33% of the couples who left Paradise together ended up staying together long-term (7 out of 21, as of a few years ago), nearly doubling the total count of lasting Bachelor Nation relationships when added to the main shows’ tally. Some theorize that the BIP show allows for a more organic, flexible form of relationship building compared to the highly-structured, high-stakes environment of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. For instance, participants are free to explore multiple connections at their own pace rather than being forced to follow a one-lead-to-many-contestants format. This creates a setting where people can take time to develop emotional and physical compatibility and where there is less external pressure to get engaged by the show’s end, allowing for a more natural progression of their relationships. Similar dynamics are evident in other reality dating or competition-based shows that favor a more decentralized approach to pairing. For example, shows like Love Island or Are You the One? often achieve higher long-term success rates among couples compared to single-lead formats because they allow participants to meet on equal footing and develop multiple connections before committing.
Choosing a partner
In terms of who to choose, the data seems to show that organic connections work better than forced fairytales: Jade Roper & Tanner Tolbert, for instance, found love not through the rigid Bachelor structure but in a more relaxed, natural setting. Their success underscores that the Paradise format—where relationships evolve more like they do in real life—may actually be a better model for lasting love than the traditional Bachelor format. Part of the reason for this could be that it’s important to choose based on shared life vision, and developing that together takes time. Heightened emotions and chemical reactions via frequent physical intimacy (kissing, overnight dates) and constant excitement (exotic trips, adrenaline-filled activities) flood the brain with dopamine, oxytocin and other “feel-good” hormones. As one psychologist noted, all those neurotransmitters can make it feel like love – “our brain produces oxytocin… the ‘love hormone.’ It makes us feel connected and bonded to another person. So, while it may feel like love, [it might just be chemistry]”. In other words, the show’s format can simulate the sensations of falling in love, even if the intellectual understanding of the person is shallow. However, once the hormone high wears off and real-life challenges emerge, they realize they didn’t know each other deeply enough. Desiree Hartsock & Chris Siegfried are a great case study in choosing stability over initial infatuation. Desiree’s top choice left mid-season, forcing her to reassess who was truly compatible with her. Chris, her eventual pick, wasn’t the most dramatic choice, but he was the most sustainable choice. Their quiet, consistent relationship outlasted many high-passion, high-drama pairings.
While some of these lessons may be intuitive, one of the most surprising findings is that while many people focus quite a bit on choosing as the most important decision, it may just be a subcategory of the more important focus long term. Choosing the right partner may just serve to help facilitate the effort of “mashing” two lives and personalities together, but this effort is not ultimately easy for any couple in the franchise and may not be meant to be easy, despite what Disney would like us to believe.
Making it work
One hypothesis is that commitment beyond the show matters more than the initial choice. Jason Mesnick initially proposed to Melissa but realized his true connection was with runner-up Molly Malaney. Their success suggests that love isn’t always about making the “perfect” choice in the moment but about recognizing who genuinely aligns with you—even if it means course-correcting. Aligning real world logistics and goals then facilitates the process, just as choosing someone with similar commitment and effort does. For instance, Rachel Lindsay & Bryan Abasolo moved to the same city, aligned their career paths, and built a life together rather than expecting the post-show magic to sustain them. Many Bachelor couples who fail cite long-distance struggles or conflicting priorities as key issues. Otherwise, once real world pressures kick in (jobs, distance, routine), many pairs discover they don’t mesh as well as they thought. Successful couples often have a plan for blending their lives (e.g. one person moves, or they share similar goals and values).
Given this process takes effort and evolution and there may not be a “perfect one,” we also then can understand another dynamic we see in the data - that those that took it slower often worked out better. JoJo Fletcher & Jordan Rodgers, for instance, demonstrated that not rushing an engagement into a marriage can be a game-changer. Their decision to take six years before marrying allowed them to build a solid foundation without the external pressures that often doom Bachelor couples.
Most counterintuitively may be the lessons around gender and choice
First, more choice doesn’t always seem to be better. On paper, giving one person 30 potential partners to choose from seems like the ultimate way to find a perfect match but in practice, it often leads to poorer outcomes. In theory, more potential partners increases the odds of finding someone whose values and life goals align. But in practice, the sheer volume of candidates can lead to second-guessing, uncertainty, and a higher likelihood of regret after making a choice. When participants feel overwhelmed by the number of options, they may fixate on immediate chemistry or superficial traits rather than deeply considering long-term compatibility. This doesn’t mean that having many options is inherently bad. Rather, the nuance is that the structure and context in which those choices are presented greatly influence outcomes. For example, in a setting like Bachelor in Paradise, where contestants have time to explore connections naturally and aren’t locked into a single-lead dynamic, they can still experience variety but with less pressure to make a final, binding decision. Paradoxically, these types of spin-offs with less rigid structures have done better.
On the opposite end of this spectrum, too little choice is also a problem, which particularly manifests with those that believe or want to believe with “love at first sight.” For instance, with Clare Crawley & Dale Moss, Clare’s immediate, almost obsessive connection with Dale led her to bypass the entire dating process, convinced she had found “the one.” But their relationship—built on raw attraction rather than shared experience—collapsed within months. Their split highlights that when love feels too instant, it’s often because it’s based on a projection rather than real compatibility. Intense early chemistry is exciting, but often love at first sight turns out to be a risky bet.
Gender Dynamics: Further, while the Bachelor often presents its male leads as confidently pursuing their “one true love,” it’s actually the Bachelorette, with its female leads, that boasts a far better track record for lasting relationships. This trend hints at differences in how men and women navigate the process - female leads tend to approach their choices with more deliberate consideration. They often prioritize shared values and long-term compatibility, rather than fleeting passion, which interestingly enough tends to favor men at more similar ages. In contrast, Bachelor leads frequently emphasize initial attraction and excitement, which can lead to short-lived pairings. Men on the show also often choose significantly younger women—regardless of their own age—while Bachelorette leads show a pattern of selecting partners closer to their own age. This age disparity among male leads can signal a focus on physical appeal over life stage alignment, which might explain why many Bachelor-initiated relationships fail soon after the cameras stop rolling. This challenges the notion that both genders approach the process equally well and highlights a surprising advantage in how women navigate these high-stakes choices.
In the end, The Bachelor franchise offers a kind of social experiment on love that ultimately reveals that falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard. The real success stories show that enduring love comes from shared goals, mutual commitment, and a willingness to adapt to each other’s lives. This suggests a powerful, counterintuitive truth: love thrives not because it’s effortlessly found, but because it’s thoughtfully and consistently built.